away and hurting

Seoul, Korea
ItaewonDong
4pm

Im away from home ... FINALLY . My two weeks was good ,bad and frustrating . My engagement happened and my happiness was incomparable. Everyone was very happy and excited for me. My friends, my brothers, Kyle, and my future in-laws. My mom on the other had reacted differently. As I was expecting it... she was unhappy. Not because I am getting married but because I disobeyed her. I chose a man that she less prefer for me..and I left a man that she unreasonably want for me. For the second time around in my life, she was again trying to interfere with my life's decision. With my happiness. For material and selfish reasons that she had dreamt of.

I dont want to write details here because it is very hurting. I want peace. That was my last message to my mom.

I left the Philippines hurt...and I caught myself crying in the plane while trying to get some sleep. How's that? I was supposed to be celebrating and enjoying my engagement. But my mom deprived me to be so. AGAIN.

I texted Jp the other night and apologized for whatever is happening now. He was very positive and supportive the whole time. He texted me back and said that everything will be alright. That when we get married..everything will be alright. Him, me and our futire togther. I know he was sincere enough when he said that. He has proven enough. More than what i've expected. That - probably this is happening now for some good reason later on. Yes, I still believe that things will work out eventually.

I love the feeling after the hurt is gone...

*********

Another reason to be happy and excited? I am going to start preparing for my wedding soon. Even if it is a year away :D I know I will have good time preparing. My future mother-in-law is very excited and so is my bestfriend who is in the states right now. Even more excited that I am ! haha!

I am excited to go home because me and Jp's mom prepared a party for Kyle =) It is his 7th birthday! It will be a Pirates of the Carribean party and everyone will have to wear their costumes. I'll post pictures next week.


Bohol! Bohol! I am excited :) I am going to Bohol on the 26th this month and hopefully at that time...I will be leaving peacefully compared to my Korea trip now.(crossed fingers)

I am praying for that... sincerely...

ironically.. i was the one surprised :D

October 10, 2006
Galileo Enoteca
8- something

Jp: happy anniversary again babe ....
this is what i've always wanted.... marry me ....











My mobile phone beeps around 1130 ... I just finished my shower and I am about to sleep...
message from jp:
That ring shows that there's only one thing I want... to spend the rest of my life with you...Happy anniversary baby...and more to come... I love you very very much....









One man whom I want to spend the rest of my life with ... :)

eventFULL October

Overwhelmed with work ... thats how I am now... I just found out today that I will be sent to Korea on the 17th for another business trip. I have other planned activities for the rest of the month and finding out about this new addition is really hitting my head and my heart.

It's Kyle's 7th birthday on the 13th and unfortnately its a weekday so he'll be in school & I will be at work.. sad =( i'll make up sweetie... I promise...

I have something plannned already but then again, can I just blog about it when its done? I cant help it! Boy, I am just so excited hehe!

-------

On the contrary I am excited about something else.. its our 2nd year anniversary today =) I plan to surprise Jp .... a dinner in a cozy Italian restaurant... a place he will never discover on his own =D

sheeesh...

I remembered the priest's homily 2 Sundays ago...

I survived ... we survived... and still surviving...
-------

love you baby ...

" great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss... people"

" THE BUSY MIND CANT DISCUSS EVIL THOUGHTS "

tin... tin ... never spoil the moment just because you are frustrated ... sheesh... PMS haha!

" I long for you...as much as you do ..."
" Im saving even the smallest amount that I can so I could marry you soon... I hope you understand that what I am doing now is for you... for us... for our future. I want to marry you soon"
" I've been having sleep disorders lately and the only time that I get good rest is when you are with me ... so how can you say that I dont long for you?"
" I feel that you always see wrong things in me... the things that I do, the things that I do not do, the things that I say..."
" if its not working for you then you better tell me"
" im working very hard so we can have a good future"
"I love you... so much"

I am almost done with the first season of LOST and I have 2 targets! entourage and grey's anatomy =) cant wait to run to the video store for my DVD copies!!!

I'm sad... I lost my yonex racket last saturday when I went to play badminton at clubsixfifty. It was my first ever good racket actually...not to mention that it was quite expensive...=( I went back to check on it, hoping that some angel soul would have surrendered it to the admin,but as expected " only in the philippines" -- my racket was gone.

======

I was with my friend rein & Jp's officemate- Rica earlier that afternoon. We went to check Vieux Chalet in Antipolo. I've been meaning to see the place for about 4 years already. hehe! I ordered their famous lemongrass iced tea... refreshing! it tastes really good =) I had this dessert ...Mango Flambae topped with vanilla ice cream... a must try!

( will post pictures tommorow! I left my usb at home and I couldn't upload the pics today)

I went there for an ocular... Yes, ocular. Dont ask me why =D I'll tell you more after the 10th tho =)

Just trying to be a little romantic...

A happy feeling... of being in love over and over again...

========

I had some exchange of words with a (supposed) good friend. Why? Misunderstanding, I guess. I dunno. I was meaning purely business & work though. I've always wanted to help friends and colleagues by all means, but of course I can only do so much. And there are some things beyond my control already. So I hope that situations like this will not be taken against me.

I meant well...

I just had to say it...

Things will never be the same again...

=========

My regularization papers were released today! At least, something good happened to compensate a headache. It was too soon for me to get stressed and harassed. I still have five days of work to deal with =D

I got my increase! yipee! =)

I got my Medical Results! everything cleared ! hehe!

I can treat myself to Lapids Chicharon later tonight! haha! =P

==========

Oh... MONDAY!!!

vacation!vacation!

Im excited!!! I'm scheduled to go to Bohol & Cebu last week of October. Yipee! Vacation! Vacation! Will be with people from the office =) We're done finalizing our itinerary today and looks like the trip will really be worth it =D

Obviously, I am that excited !hehe!

I am writing it down now....

But on a second thought... Will just post pictures later on when get back after my trip... =)

18 days to go... im excited =)

two weeks ...

no nothing...

work...

badminton...

good book...

my cup of tea...


Im going out with my bestfriend, Marielle tonight after about a month of not joining her gimmicks. Well, she's been out partying since last month and I really couldnt stand the noise anymore. I am too exhausted with work that I would prefer a more peaceful place She usually says ,im getting old... maybe I am :S

Friday nights...

Restless...

"the world is not perfect because of love"

" One of the things that make us happy is when we love and are loved. Life is a continuing effort at loving others and experiencing love in return for love always seeks expression. Yet when the person who is loved does not return the love that we express, when our love is unrequited, our love sometimes turns to hatred ...."

desperate housewives

One thing good about long weekends!? you will finish your stocked up dvds at home! Finally! I managed to finish second season of desperate housewives! Forgive the drama addict in me !


This one's a combination of drama, thriller and mystery... there's a comedy part too! ( but definitely nothing like the classic F.R.I.E.N.D.S. series)




For the fun of it, I took this test in Desperate Housewives official website!!!

http://abc.go.com/primetime/desperate/quiz/index.html

My test result is similar to that of Susan's character! oh my ! Oh my! Is that good or bad? but I remembered when I started watching the first season, I told a friend that I wanted to be Susan! The only reason then was that I found her pretty and sexy for a mom of a teen-age girl (julie)...

Now, I came to realize that maybe I am a bit of HER... because somehow I dont wanna be like Bree, she is very stiff and boring, so prim and proper... Lynette, on the other hand is ok but she seems to be disorganized most of the time... Especially during the first season when she was still a stay-home mom. She failed to fix herself ( one thing i think is very important even if you are married), she's most of the time harassed and stressed out.Oh I really hope I wont end up like her. (She was my 2nd choice though, hehe) And lastly never would I want to be Gabrielle... she didnt want babies ( even of her own) ,she slept with her gardener etc., tsk she should have chosen to be single forever right? Susan on the other hand is a single mom who was able to raise a very independent and responsible child. She makes mistakes sometimes ( esp in finding her true love) , But more than any of the characters, I must say that her story is more realistic than than the rest.

Ok sorry I didn't actually plan to make long blog about this series. I got carried away hehe...

Too much.. too much...

I bought 2 seasons of LOST last week ! Im gonna watch it soon =)

never enough

Weekend this time is both good and bad for me. Defined hectic, I must say. Friday and Saturday, I had to attend 2 separate seminars in Makati. It was ok because it is an additional learning on my part. It is actually a 4-week course that my company sponsored for me and I really feel lucky for that privelege. On the other hand, it was not so good because I was required to attend on Saturdays and it was a whole day thing. Meaning I only have Sunday as my rest day supposedly. But being a woman who values time for her family and loved ones, I needed to think of ways on how to maximize my Sunday and at the same time be able to do the things that I want to do for myself. Saturday night, I met up with former co-workers from Globalstride even if I was all tired. My hub and I had dinner in Eastwood before that and I felt relaxed just being with this one special man in my life. Even if I do most of the talking & kwento or the bullying?! hehe ( can I just mention again that he is really a quiet person). We were both tired beacuse of a very busy week at the office. Its been a routine actually. We work our ass' off on weekdays and spend quality time on weekends (at least). That I really demanded... because I thought that weekend is the only time that we can really sit down and have a good talk over a sumptuous dessert (sorry but not the usual coffee or tea). I know people would agree to me whe I say that communication is really important in one's relationship.
So there, the group had the usual dessert at coffe bean & tea leaf ...and ended up in Countryside Katipunan Ave., for a very very yummy barbeque. The night ended and I went to bed feeling so full and bloated because of that two dinners that I had. Satisfying yeah? =) how I really wished my man was beside me the whole night to hug me while I sleep... but I cant be lucky enough... =(
Sunday, I woke up early even if I was sleepy bacause I promised my adorable Kyle that I wll bring him to timezone. I know he will feel bad if I will not keep my word. He can be frustrated at times just like me =p I also went with my mom to check on this Ralph Lauren bag that she's been eyeing.. of course there I was trying to brainwash her a bit from buying that bag ...that was hell expensive!!! Lastly, I also went with mico, my brother to buy his lacos shoes and chuckies.... I was tempted to buy my own pair of pink pumas as well =) We ate lunch at Gerry's in Promenade and again I went home bloated hehe =) One thing that I enjoy doing with my family... eating!

All of us took our afternoon nap when we got back home. We were very very tired. I was planning to get a massage after dinner but I chose to meet up with my man instead. We drove to tiendesitas to buy my cocoa tablets ( I was opting to make my homemade chocolate drink ).For the remaining half an hour, we decided to hang out at his place, cuddle and get charged by a warm hug for another week of work.

Ooh, I couldn't wait patiently for another weekend. I miss my family.I miss my man. I miss my bed.

I can be impatient at times.

Fast forward please.

Saturdays & Sundays are never enough... never.

third wheel

I went out with 2 of my very good friends friday night. I had fun but it could have been much better to see them togeherher again. Yes... together again. My besfriend marielle, and another friend Leejay became officially together sometime in 2004. I was very happy for them... especially for my bestfriend because it was ( I really feel sad I had to us the word "was" ) her first official relationship. They were very happy. I saw it. No pressure among themselves. But of course no relationship is that perfect. They needed to experience their own piece of challenge. The "negative forces" outside their relationship. I wouldn't want to write full details why they had to let go of each other for now since its not my own story to tell. I know they love each other and I want them to get back together ( my fingers crossed =D)...because I saw how happy they were being around each other's arms... =)


Thats me and my good friend Mar, we had our dinner at MYLK in Greenbelt... It was supposedly a "girls night out" =) I had my own stories to share... because my week was a major stress!!! work, parenting, relationship expectations, marriage (yikes).. in fact i dont think friday night was ever enough when im with her. she is the only person i can really talk about anything! everything!

She didnt know I asked her ex to join us that night!!? I wanted to surprise her... yeah I know she's been proving me that she's ok and better but I dont care!!! "pakielamera" ako eh haha! I want them to see each other =) Actually I knew Leejay missed her so as a friend... i did my part =)

So for the night, im officially "third wheel"! its fine , i'd rather be the third wheel for that night than have mar around being the "third wheel" for the rest of my married life!!? hehe (peace mar!) =p







ok now who doesn't want them back anyway? :P


***************************************************************************

blurry

Friday, July 28... he called out of nowhere...

" my dad just called asking me if im getting married" .... oh , ok and why is he asking?

" i dont know,nangungulit lang siguro! hehe" , "and he asked how how you are and he asked how's my job... i said everything is doing ok , we both fopund better and more stable job,..."

" baby when mo ba gusto mgapakasal?"

so in love!!!!

hey friends! im addicted to this page!!!! i browse through it almost everyday ... tsk! tsk! im dying to go and try out all these sweet treats!!! =)

http://dessertcomesfirst.blogspot.com/
www.dessertcomesfirst.com

wish- a- wish-a -wish... =)

I've been wanting to have a "real" vacation with my hub :D i know we both need to de-stress! haha =) If time & my work skeds would allow us both then... I have listed 2 of my dream getaways in mind.... *wink* Have more more more on my list but I guess i'll save that.... for future plans and events hehe =)

Meantime, this is where I want to go before the year ends =) If im lucky enough & the good heavens will hear me out, then I want to go October this year =) If not, i'll probably squeeze some from my budget and go by myself.... a very good time to relax, rejuvenate & have the whole world to myself even for one day =)


1) The Farm at san Benito (Mt. Malarayat, Lipa City, Batangas)
www.thefarm.com.ph




2. Nurture Spa (Tagaytay City)
www.nurture.com.ph

ON AGING WELL

18 secrets to aging well
LIVING ALIVE By Dero Pedero
The Philippine STAR 08/01/2006

You have two ages: your chronological age and your biological age. Your chronological age is your true calendar age and there’s nothing you can do to change it. Your biological age, on the other hand, reflects the state of your body. You may be 50 chronologically yet still be 40 biologically if your body is well maintained.

Want to look and feel youthful, and age fabulously? Here are some down-to-earth tips to make you feel and look your best no matter what your age.

Age Is A Lifestyle

1) Have a positive attitude. Experts say that having a positive attitude is probably the single most important factor for a long and happy life. But it is not enough to think positive; you must do, act, and feel positive. See the light when there’s darkness and smile to rise above your sorrow.

2) Be enthusiastic. A powerful ingredient that will surely fire up your life is enthusiasm. When you are enthusiastic (or just pretend to be), you will attract amazing things your way. Be ebullient, vivacious, and lively. Expect the best but at the same time, be ready for the worst.

3) Be inspired. Always strive for things that inspire you. Find inspiration from God and nature, learn from successful people, and engage in activities that fuel and charge you. Follow your dreams, find a new challenge, learn a new hobby, and appreciate beauty and virtue.

4) Eat fresh, whole foods. Your body is a machine that needs to be fed for energy and strength. Be judicious and careful about what you eat. Say no to junk foods and stick to fresh, unprocessed natural foods that give you power and vitality.

5) Exercise regularly. Follow an exercise regimen to keep your heart healthy and your body fit and in shape. Aim for flexibility, strength, and endurance. To add fun and avoid boredom, participate in sports and vary your workout. Exercise with friends to keep you motivated.

6) Exercise your brain. Your brain needs to be given a workout, too. If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. Learn something new every day, read books and publications, and solve stimulating puzzles to keep it sharp and competent.

7) Get enough sleep. Getting quality sleep gives your body a chance to rest, recharge, replenish, and repair. It allows your brain to file and sort out your memories, hopes, and dreams. A good night’s sleep always refreshes and gives you energy to be at your best the next day.

8) Be a "people person." Shift your focus from "I, me, myself" to "you, them, others." This will take your mind away from your flaws and insecurities. The more joy you bring to others, the more joyful you will be. Establish a social support network; keep old friends and make new ones.

9) Avoid stress. Stress is the No. 1 cause of disease; in fact, stress can kill you. Hurrying through life can be stressful and aging. Check your limits and slow down when you need to. Be mindful of your activities and live in the moment, and you will enjoy life much more.

10) Hydrate. The body is 75 percent water so you must hydrate it regularly. Drink plenty of water and juices especially on hot, humid days. Water helps your body flush out toxins and keeps your skin supple and youthful.

11) Protect your skin. The skin is your body’s outer "clothing" and people judge your age by it. To keep it healthy and looking its best, protect it from the harsh sun with a sunscreen and from the elements by dressing appropriately. Dry skin ages prematurely, so use a good moisturizing lotion daily.

12) Simplify and organize your life. Life is complicated; simplify. Know what really matters to you so you can spend your time and energy rightfully. Why agonize when you can organize? Being organized helps simplify your life.

13) Think young. You are as young as you think. Be open to new things and ideas. Be adventurous and open-minded. Don’t be afraid of technology; learn and use it to your advantage. Understand young people. Dress a little younger than your real age.

14) Have fun, laugh, and be happy! When you die, the first thing God asks when you come face to face with Him is, "Did you have fun?" Life can be problematic and dreary; it is your duty to keep yourself happy and entertained. Most importantly, laugh and be healed!

15) Have a higher life purpose. Most people live insignificant lives because they stay on the basic survival plane. Those who live magnanimous lives and leave an unforgettable legacy are the ones who pursue grand, noble, and heroic missions.

16) Use medicine and cosmetics to enhance your life. Avail of modern medicine to improve and prolong your life. Experiment with beauty products and cosmetics. A little makeup magic can enhance the way you look. When you look good, you will feel good about yourself.

17) Be in love. You were born to love and share. The only meaningful love is the love you give away, and the only love you can really use and keep is love from someone else. Establish meaningful relationships and put the glow of love in your life.

18) Breathe well. Above all, breathe deeply and pleasurably. Breath is the body’s ultimate food. You can live without real food for 40 days, but you die in minutes when deprived of air. Most of us have put our breathing on automatic; gain control of it once more. When you have control over your breath, you have control over your life.

* * *

i still miss him everyday... for the past 765 days...